I Want a Husband

Not too long ago a female friend of mine appeared on the scene from a recent divorce. She is looking for another husband. As I thought about it one day, it occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a husband. Why do I want a husband?
I want a husband who can teach my kids how to fix things around the house. I want a husband who can teach my kids how to change a light bulb. I want a husband who can teach my kids how to deal with any mechanical issues their car may have and how to change a flat tire. I want a husband who can teach my kids how to drive properly and fill their cars with gasoline. I want a husband who can teach my kids how to deal with plumbing issues.
I want a husband who will go to work every day while I stay at home. I want a husband who has a well-paying job to support the family so that I don't have to work. I want a husband who works hard so I can go shopping while the kids are at school. I want a husband who does not question my purchases.
I want a husband who is a romantic. I want a husband who remembers all of our anniversaries and the exact time we met. I want a husband who will buy me extravagant gifts for every single occasion. I want a husband who will buy me fancy things even if there is no special occasion just to show his appreciation for me. I want a husband who will surprise me with grand romantic gestures all the time. I want a husband who is sentimental and gives me things that have a deep significance just because. I want a husband who will remember every word of every conversation we have ever shared and bring them up at random moments.
My God, who wouldn't want a husband?

I made a parody of "I Want a Wife" by Judy Brady. I modeled her piece by using repetition at the beginning of my sentences. Also, in Brady's piece she goes from not as serious demands like "...I want a wife to take care of my children" (Brady) to harder demands like "I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs" (Brady). I did that in my piece as well by starting off by a more casual demand like "I want a husband who can teach my kids how to fix things around the house" to a harder demand like "I want a husband who will remember every word of every conversation...". The opening and ending are also based off of Brady's piece.